Lala Land
by Prose Vanity
Summary: Just your everyday Hyuuga-Sakura spat, involving lots of fluff puffs, trolls, witches, and the whole bunch needed to make her perfect Lala Land...including the one person who loves ruining it, of course, 'cause he just makes it even better. For Stalker.


***PLEASE SKIP THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET A CLUE OF HOW DERANGED I AM***

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**WELCOME TO {PV}MAIL!**  
Username: prosevanity  
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_**Compose new mail  
**_**To:** Santa [_______santa_claus_bigfatbelly_hohoho_elfslaveryrocksssssaintnick(at)northpoleelectronicmail(dot)snow_]_  
_**Subject:** My Way-Too-Early Christmas Wish  
**  
**Dear Santa, for this Christmas I wish to own Gakuen Alice. I will be a good girl all through the year, I promise, except for the parts where I don't update as often as I should, but that's completely beside the point, isn't it? And I'll complete all nine days of early morning masses. Just grant me my wish…pwetty _pweaaaase_? D': I'm sending this letter in advance just so you could fix all the necessary legalities regarding my ownership of the manga! Thanks, Santa! :D

Love,  
_Ash_.

PS. Could you please shorten your email address? It's technically violating the cyber-ethic rules.

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_**Inbox (1 Unread)  
**_**From:** Santa [_______________santa_claus_bigfatbelly_hohoho_elfslaveryrocksssssaintnick(at)northpoleelectronicmail(dot)snow_]_  
_**Subject:** Re: My Way-Too-Early Christmas Wish

Dear Ash:

First of all I'm on vacation; Christmas season's done with, sweet pea. And second of all, I don't take advances. You don't pay me.

And about your wish?

In yow _dreeeeeaaaams_, womaaan!

Hohoho!

Love, Santa.

PS. IDC, LOL. I'm—_like_—waaay too cool for cyber-ethics.

_**The End.**_

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_By now you should have figured out that the short "thing" up there's my disclaimer. Need I say more? Even Santa says I can't have GA. (Although I seriously think Santa is really just Koko in disguise…hm.)_

_-\-_

**Lala Land  
**(For Stalker, because dorkwads are awesome and Magic Penguins eat Pizza Pandas.)

_They argue over fairy tales, copyrights, system glitches, hearing difficulties, and penguins eating pizza pandas. So random. But it's nothing new. Just your everyday Hyuuga-Sakura spat. And Lala Lands._

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"Castles and knights in shining armors and princesses and medieval dresses and—" she placed a thoughtful finger on her chin, thinking of more things to say about what he deemed to be her fantasy land, "—and _ponies, _of course, how could I forget that? And…and…oh, right! Unicorns!"

"Pssh," he scoffed, "Unicorns? Could you be a little mature? A five-year-old could have said more than half as much as you did."

"What?" she bit back roughly. "I am _dreaming_. Don't get all Grumpy-the-Seventh-Dwarf on me."

He smiled but sneered at the same time. Really, this girl is surely not sixteen years old? "Grumpy wasn't the seventh dwarf; it was Doopy."

She laughed out loud. "Ha ha! Doopy? _Doopy_, Natsume? Hah! You don't even know about Snow White — it's Dopey, you ignorant kitten!"

His red eyes grew wide upon hearing her words.

Admittedly this was one big blow to _the_ Natsume Hyuuga's enormous pride, but he shrugged it off anyway after having thought out a well-to-do comeback. "I don't care; fairy tales aren't exactly _my_ _type_, Strawberries. I can't imagine Naruto or L or Lelouch having to care about the twelve dwarfs or the seven dancing princesses or whatever the hell it is. It's not like they'll be singing 'Hi-Ho' in the mangas."

At which she laughed even more.

When she had recovered she smiled teasingly at him, a playfulness enveloping her entire body. "Look," she began wryly, "with the things you're saying, you're making me think of not marrying you anymore."

He stopped dead and put down his manga. She stared blankly into space as she grinned at something she was thinking to herself; he asked a doubtful "Why?" as she looked at something he couldn't see.

They were under the Sakura tree, enjoying the first bursts of spring. To him, it wasn't going well. To her, it was enjoying as hell.

(And that _rhymed_.)

She snickered, so unlike the Mikan he knew. "Because, silly, you'll be teaching our kids all wrong sorts of fairy tales! You might just tell them Cinderella brought kunais and shurikens with her to protect her against the evil witch stepmother and then ended up being trapped inside some psycho delusion of a New World and blah blah blah…"

She turned around and began to draw idly on a scrap piece of paper, mumbling as she did so, oblivious to the amount of sheer mingled amusement and annoyance she was hailing from the boy beside her. She started muttering random words, acting like they never had that conversation about fairy tales and his obvious lack of knowledge thereof.

"There'll be lots of weird stuff in my kingdom," she childishly declared.

"You mean other than yourself?" He teased, smirking smugly. He lifted his eyes from his manga and watched her grow livid at his words. She was just so naïve about everything, he mused quietly.

_A kingdom of fluff puffs. That's what she'd want._

"Shut _up_, please?" she asked him sourly. Vaguely he wondered about her ability to be so formal with him despite reaching her boiling point—it was, most probably, a feat she had perfected a long time ago, thanks to her putting up with him for so long.

Finally deciding to steer out of tremulous waters, he spoke.

"You should add trolls."

She scoffed. "You're enough for that. Qualifications for a troll definitely fit you."

"And witches—but seeing as you're already there the kingdom won't really need any more."

She shot him a dark glare which he nonchalantly received. She huffed. "You know, you should really stop using my words against me. It's unethical, plus it doesn't really give you much on the originality part."

"Well you're one to talk," he brushed off the comment.

"Hey, I never use your words against you, jerk," she bit off sharply.

"Shut it, you're hurting my ears. It's not like it's even worth it, you're barely making any sense."

"Hah! You're one to talk!"

"And you say you don't use my words against me?"

He looked smug. She looked positively murderous and flummoxed. Instead of replying, though, she turned her back on him and drew wildly all over her paper. Laughing gently to himself he put his manga down and snaked an arm around her waist, squeezing a small amount of baby fat that settled by her hip. He leaned his chin on her shoulder and trailed his eyes on her drawing.

She resolutely ignored him. But he was fine with that; he heard her breath catch when he put his arm around her, after all.

Unaffected by the way she continued to act as if he were nothing but air, he just watched her draw. She might be immature, but even _he_ had to admit he'd be lying if he said she didn't draw well, because she _did_ draw well. It always interested him how her hand flies all over her canvas, sketching here and there, doodling abstract art that stunned spectators. Art critics that often drop by the Academy at first look scandalized by her works, though; she often defied the natural laws of lighting and shading. But after some time, however, the effect would sink in that even the greatest, meanest, most scornful critics could only smile at her workings.

Like him, now that he was seeing her "map," headed in bold letters by the words "Lala Land."

He breathed out in amusement. Kissing the bare skin of her shoulder he asked her to explain the map. She looked at him, annoyed. "Are you really so intent on annoying the soul out of me?" she asked, a deep frown marring her sunny features.

The wind laughed along with him.

"Oh, stop being so mean. I was only asking. _Nicely_." He stared at her with his lower lip jutting out a bit. It was a ridiculously feeble attempt of his.

She gave the "nicely" part a small thought and sighed. "Fine," she mumbled, jerking her shoulder to rid her of his chin.

"Obviously this is _my_ Lala Land," she began dully. He nodded in mock interest, which in her opinion was a little too suspiciously acted out. Rolling her eyes she pointed to a small island south of her map to a heart-shaped piece of land. "Down here is Love Land—"

"—in the shape of a heart, gee, original—"

"—would you _shut up_?"

"—I mean _classy. _Love Land. Classy."

She shot him another dark glare. He merely stared back at her, pleased with the way he's riling her up as usual.

He thinks she's cute when he annoys her, and he can't help it; it's all instinct to him. Typical. Natural. As easy as breathing, blinking, yawning, sneezing. And peeking at her underwear—

—Well, the last part wasn't exactly true. But—

"—Oh, stop denying; you know you're too much of a perverted moron and peeking is a part of your human system. Which is obviously a little glitched. Oh, wait, I forgot—your system's completely and irreversibly damaged."

"Obviously, seeing as I fell in love with you," he retorted. Mentally he slapped himself for having spoken out loud his thoughts again. He must have been thinking too much. He tried to recover himself by saying, "I must have a really glitched system, else I would never have had a rather _worse_ insane girlfriend."

"It's awkward being called 'insane' by someone who speaks without knowing he's spilling out his deluged thoughts," she answered back. As if nothing happened, she continued. "This one, next to Love Land—" ("—_Hate_ Land?" He simpered.)

"—is _Caveo Vereor_," she finished. Glancing at him smugly she smiled and put out her tongue.

"Cave of Fear?" he remarked. "Cliché."

She rolled her eyes.

"And this, here, is Pizza Panda Island, right next to Magic Penguin Island."

"And they're this close because—?"

"Calm down, Natsume. Pandas don't eat penguins," she said playfully.

He scoffed. "No, but it's the other way around," he commented lazily.

At this she choked and she turned around to look at him disbelievingly a little too fast — she cricked her neck. Rubbing it, she squinted at him, looking gravely confused by his last account. "Excuse me?" she said to him in a dubious tone; their faces were centimeters apart and he was back to leaning his chin on her shoulders, enjoying every minute though admittedly looking like a fool, having suggested that _penguins_ eat _pandas. "_Since _when_ exactly did penguins start eating pandas?"

Another guttural groan escaped his playfully-smirking lips. "Since pandas were declared to be herbivores and Magic Penguins realized the heaven that is pizza." He looked gleeful at the utter disbelief etched in her features.

"So…penguins eat pandas?" She was so adorable, in his opinion, when she dishes out her dumb side. "Like, penguins are higher up the pandas in the Predator-Prey hierarchy? As in for _real_?"

"No, dolt. I thought this was Lala Land?"

"Well, it is, but this is _my_ Lala Land!" she fired up. "Nobody gave you the license to partake of _my_ Lala Land!"

"Oh, but I distinctly remember you saying something about us being _one_. So that means what's yours is mine, right?"

"But—! No! You—!" She spluttered, trying to find the right words and finding none. "This is _my_ Lala Land! Go get your Naruto stationery and draw your own land of dreams! And name it something else, like—like Mangaland or…or…Arrogance Islands…or…or…or—gah! Just don't name it _Lala Land_, dammit!"

"Aren't you getting a little hysterical over this one?" he mumbled; really, it was worth her screams seeing her so agitated over a matter so small as this. "And _why_ can't I name it Lala Land?"

She puffed her cheeks like she always did when overly-annoyed. "I am _not_ hysterical—" he smirked "—and you can't name it so because it's copyrighted to me!"

She stubbornly jammed her index finger to the heading of her map where she saw a small "C" inscribed within a circle.

"And if you _do_ copy the name, you'll be violating IPR codes!"

"Okay, fine, alright. I surrender!" He tugged at his ear lobe. "My eardrums must be cracked already."

"What?" she yelled.

"Or maybe _you're_ the deaf one, seeing as you can't hear a perfectly audible words articulated well enough."

"What did you _say_?"

"Nothing—point proven."

She squinted sinisterly at him. He smiled and laughed a little. Recovering himself he reverted to their previous topic as if there had been no shouting matches over Intellectual Property Rights and hearing disabilities.

"So this Lala Land of yours has trolls—"

"—_troll, _singular; I told you it only needs one jerk-headed troll and you're definitely more than enough—"

"—_Flattered_, thank you—and you have a witch, none other than yourself—"

"—I'm not a—!"

"—_Don't_ argue—and you have a Land of Love and a tunnel—"

"—_Cave_—"

"—fine, _Cave_—of Fear."

"Don't forget the pandas. And penguins," she said, suddenly shifting moods. Sometimes he really couldn't fathom the endless abilities this girl had with mood swings.

He nodded. "Right, the red-and-yellow pandas—"

"—No! They're black and white, they're _pandas_, for cryin' out loud!"

"But I thought they were _pizza _pandas?"

"Pizza-_flavored. _Not _literally_ slices of pizza."

"Oh." He looked absentminded. "Okay, then. Black-and-white-pizza-flavored Pandas—"

"—And Pizza-panda-eating penguins," she finished happily for him.

He looked at her. "I thought you didn't want that part in?"

She shrugged. "Call it a compromise."

He closed his eyes and snorted. This girl and her antics…

It confused him greatly, for there could be no explanation for why he loved her, but these episodes definitely make that confusion so much more worth it.

His mouth could only twitch. But his heart was torn apart in a wide, toothy grin.

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_Err... the ending was completely uncalled for. Thanks for reading! _

_Review, then? :D_

_~Ash._


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